Nothing changes,
until you do
Does this sound familiar?
You’re in a good, safe marriage… but intimacy still feels like a struggle because of what’s in your past.
You both want connection. You both care.
And still, something feels stuck.
One of you feels anxious or shut down at the thought of sex.
The other doesn’t want to pressure… but doesn’t know what else to do.
You’ve done therapy. You’ve tried to work through it.
But during sex, there’s still disconnection.
Anxiety.
So you both start avoiding it.
Going to bed at different times.
Holding back on affection so it doesn’t lead anywhere.
And it becomes the thing you don’t really talk about…
but you both know is there.
You’re not dealing with abuse…
But you’re also not feeling connected.
At times, it feels like your relationship would be good…
if this one part could just change.
And underneath it all is the question you’re afraid say out loud:
What if this never gets better?
What does that mean for us?
You’re not alone. And there is a way forward.
Sexuality isn’t inherently good or bad. It’s powerful. And you may already know how that power can be used in ways that are destructive and painful.
What’s harder to believe is that it can also become a source of goodness, joy, and real connection.
When there’s trauma in your past, it makes sense that this feels out of reach.
Even in a relationship that isn’t abusive.
Even with someone who genuinely cares.
You may both want connection…
and still feel stuck.
One of you feeling anxious, shut down, or avoidant.
The other not wanting to pressure, but unsure what to do.
I remember wondering if it just wasn’t possible. Even in a safe relationship. Even with a good man. I tried for years and kept hitting the same wall.
But I couldn’t accept that this was my reality forever.
So I kept going.
And something shifted.
Continue Reading
To be fully seen instead of shrinking.
To know who you are and actually want to share that part of yourself.
To experience connection instead of emptiness.
To flirt and kiss without fear of where it might lead.
To feel desire—not out of obligation, but because you want to be there.
It’s hard to put into words, but I can tell you this: it’s worth fighting for.
The difference isn’t your past. It’s whether your sexuality still feels like something that belongs to someone else… or something you’ve chosen to claim as your own.
And when that begins to shift, the relationship can shift too.
You stop trying to manage each other.
You start showing up more honestly.
You create something better—together.
If that’s something you want, you don’t have to stay where you are.
You can take it back.
And you can experience something different—together.
Hi, I'm Robyn!
About 10 years ago, I was at a marriage conference with my kind and loving husband. When the “homework” was to have sex that night, I felt a wave of panic and dread and ended up having a full breakdown in the parking lot.
At the time, I couldn’t explain why. Now I can.
It was the impact of an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship I had been in before I met my husband. I thought if I ignored it, it would go away. It didn’t.
I tried everything. Therapy. Coaches. Retreats. Books. Sensate focus. And while so much of it helped me grow, the sexual side of our relationship still felt completely out of reach. I wanted little to nothing to do with it.
I felt discouraged. Stuck. Like our marriage was hanging by a thread.
And what made it even harder was this: there wasn’t anything “wrong” with him. He was kind. Safe. He wanted us to work.
But we were still stuck.
Things started to shift when I began working with a coach who was willing to tell me more than the comforting truths I had heard for years.
Yes, what happened to me wasn’t my fault.
Yes, it shouldn’t have happened.
But I had reached a point where validation alone wasn’t enough.
I needed to take my power back.
Continue Reading
Without blaming me for what I had been through, she challenged me to ask a different question:
What part am I playing now?
That question changed everything.
It meant getting honest about my patterns, my fears, my beliefs, and the ways I was still disconnecting—from myself and from him.
And as I started to show up differently, my husband did too.
Not perfectly. Not all at once. But he leaned in. He was willing to look at himself. Willing to stop reacting the same way he always had. Willing to stay in it with me instead of shutting down or trying to fix it.
That’s what changed our marriage.
Not one of us doing it right…
but both of us being willing to grow.
It wasn’t comfortable. But it was real.
And over time, the part of our relationship that once felt completely out of reach started to feel possible again.
That’s the work I do now.
I help individuals and couples who feel stuck in patterns they can’t seem to break—even in good, non-abusive relationships—start showing up differently so real change can happen.
Because the shift you’re looking for doesn’t come from fixing your partner.
It comes from being willing to look at yourself honestly…
and inviting your partner to do the same.
Subscribe to Email List
Join us for empowering insights on intimacy and self-trust
Purchase Online Course
• Reclaim your sexuality
• Improve intimacy in your marriage
1-on-1 Coaching
Work with me 1 on 1 as I help you better see and understand the patterns that are interfering with the joy and intimacy you desire within your marriage.
What is it like working with me?
Lacey was married to a good man who she loved and he loved her. They had a beautiful family together and they knew how to be good partners. From the outside, her life probably seemed picture perfect. She knew she had so much to be grateful for, and yet despite her best efforts, the traumatic relationship in her past was still wreaking havoc on her marriage. She knew her husband loved her, knew he was safe but still she struggled to engage with him sexually. In fact, she wanted so little to do with sex that she found herself subconsciously finding ways to push him away, like avoiding flirting or always finding reasons to be upset with him, in an attempt to avoid even the possibility of it. When she did try to push through out of guilt, she found herself either feeling triggered or completely checking out of her body just to get through it. Instead of intimacy bringing her closer to her husband, she felt like it was the wedge that was driving them apart. Desperate to improve this aspect of their marriage, Lacey tried everything she could think of, including therapy, to heal. While she was able to heal in a lot of other important ways, it felt like nothing had helped her actually want and enjoy sex. Lacey was beginning to lose hope, wondering if she was broken beyond repair.
Then she met Robyn. Someone who had been there herself. Someone who truly got it because she lived it, not just studied it. And not only someone who got it, but someone who got through it.
As Robyn coached Lacey, she met her with equal amounts of compassion and accountability. For the first time in her life, Lacey had someone who, with zero judgement, was able to help her see where she had given away her power . Robyn helped Lacey understand that, in an attempt to regain her agency, she had shut down her sexuality. But in doing so, she had disowned a fundamental part of who she is. Not because that’s all she’s good for, but because in order to shut down her God given sexuality, she must first shut down her passion, her authenticity, and her strength.
Robyn made it clear that Lacey did not have to reclaim her sexuality nor her desire for sex, but she could if that’s what she wanted. Once Lacey decided for herself that this was something that she wanted, Robyn helped show her the path to getting it back.
It was not an easy path. In fact, it was far from. But Lacey had done hard most of her life. And while this path was incredibly hard, it was a path that she continued to actively choose because she believed that on the other side of the discomfort and struggle was what she wanted: the ability to express and receive love and deep connection with her husband through her sexuality.
Testimonials
How Do I Know if This is For Me?
- Do you have a traumatic relationship in your past?
- Are you now married to a good man but still find that sex is still incredibly difficult or impossible to enjoy/want?
- Even though you’ve done the therapy and a put in a lot of work and effort to heal?
- Do you feel like regardless of those efforts, the past trauma still plays a large part in why you can’t enjoy intimacy?
- Have you ever thought, “My marriage would be perfect if it weren’t for the sex.”
- Do you find yourself avoiding emotional connection with your spouse as a way to avoid sex?
- Do you feel guilty and tear yourself apart for being too broken to connect sexually, when you know your current partner did nothing wrong/nothing to “deserve” it?
- Do you logically understand that your spouse is safe and would never hurt you, but the thought of being intimate with him still makes you incredibly anxious?
- Have you ever felt like you would be thrilled if you never had to have sex again in your life, but you wish you did want it because you can see how much it matters to your husband?
I've tried so many things. How do I know this will actually help me?
I get it. I've been there. That's why we have a money back guarantee. If it didn't help you, you get your money back. Pinky Promise.
Payment Plans and Scholarships Available
Healed women heal the world. That's why we do what we can to work with your budget. And for every course purchased, we donate 20% to our scholarship fund. If you don't have the funds, you can apply for a partial or full scholarship.
1-on-1 Coaching
Often times it's hard to know what the right next step is. Click here for a full list of resources I personally love and recommend for every stage of healing.